5.04.2011

REMEMBERING

Today is 3 years since I lost my daughter in a terrible accident.  Usually on this day I send up a balloon with my love written on it with a marker.  Usually, I spend the day crying, wailing actually, asking God why?  Sometimes it progresses to IS THERE EVEN A GOD?  Surely not if He would take such a kind, caring, loving child away from me.  WHY?  I'm a good person.  Why do this to me? And why take such a worthy person like Aleta, who never tried to hurt anyone, always made it a point to be kind, calm, considerate and charitable, away from her children? Doesn't He understand kids need their mom?

These are questions I will never find an answer to.  So today I'll just skip the balloon.  She probably doesn't see it anyway.  I'll just tell anyone who cares to read this that she was a wonderful, thoughtful daughter. She was a registered nurse.  Of course, what else could she be except in a profession where she could help someone!  She loved her work, loved her kids, loved her momma.  I have letters from her telling me how much she loved her kids and how she loved and respected me, her mom!  How special is that?  So today I will just surround myself with that knowledge and feel grateful that I was lucky enough to have such a beautiful daughter, beautiful both inside and out.

Today is also my husband's birthday.  He doesn't celebrate it happily any more.  Aleta always - never failed - called him on his birthday.  That was so very special to him.  This morning he told me he is still waiting for her to call.  She didn't that day, you see.

Aleta Gayel Black

I miss her so very much.
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9 comments:

  1. GlorV1May 4, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    Thoughts and prayers are with you Judie. Sending you and your husband strength.::hugs::

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  2. Miss RobynMay 4, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    sending so much love to you Judie [and your husband as well]. she sounds like a very special person - xoxo

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  3. Kate RobertsonMay 5, 2011 at 12:55 AM

    Remembering you and your hubby on this day, sending what comfort that I can.

    Much love,
    Kate

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  4. JanetMay 5, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Hugs to you, Judie. I can't even imagine the pain you go through every day. You're in my thoughts.

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  5. turquoise croMay 6, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    YOU and YOURS are in my prayers sweet woman!!! Aleta is soOOOOOoOOOo BEAUTY FULL!! I was baking a cake for Gina's birthday which is May 4th too! Aleta may be dead in body but not in spirit and she is very much alive in YOU and YOUR husband's hearts!! Take care and know someone is thinking and praying for YOU and YOURS!!!

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  6. turquoise croMay 6, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    I HOPE we will know all the answers some day and think" O, I never thought of that!" because God's thoughts are soOOOOo higher than ours we will never understand on this plane! I pray for healing of your broken heart!sweet woman!

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  7. TinkerMay 7, 2011 at 1:51 AM

    I can hardly imagine what you must go through and my heart goes out to you and your husband, all of your family. She sounds like such an inspiration - her light still shines through your heartfelt words. Sending loving thoughts, hugs and prayers your way,Judie. XOXOXOX

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  8. NaturegirlMay 7, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    A beauty always and forever in your heart. I wish you comfort today and may your husbands sadness be lifted on this his birthday.May the beautiful memories of your Aleta illuminate today. love and light Anna

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  9. gmaMay 7, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    She left too soon...
    That's all there is to it!
    Look for her in flowers and nature's beauty.
    May your sorrow fly away
    on the wings of a butterfly.
    xx

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