The other day I visited a long time friend. There is something maybe spritual that draws me to this friend and I always enjoy my time with her. She is like a wise owl. After a lunch of greek salad and egg salad sandwich, we spent several hours catching up on "stuff", went to an art gallery where she has beautiful oil paintings displayed, and walked down to the beach. It was an overcast day with no sun, the water was a blue grey, and the sound of the Gulf lapping gently at the shore was peaceful. We sat on a bench watching small groups of people enjoying the sand and water, watched dolphins feeding, listened to gulls laughing. And talked about many things. One of the things she portrayed to me was about feeling like "not being in just the right place" or "reaching for something but not knowing what" or "trying to find something that isn't there". Some of you may know the feeling. I think I have felt that way. It's a longing with no answers. A boat that is supposed to go somewhere but just sits in a tidepool. Anyhow, not being able to really explain this spiritual feeling, I thought about it for several days, and just sat down to write about it. This is what came out.
LOOKING WITHIN
In the everflowing stream of time
I let my inner primary image
circle my spirit.
Daily.
Entwine my heart,
Always.
The shadow of life hovers
As I trudge toward my journey's end,
Excited.
On the path to a place that might not exist,
With grain after grain of thoughts
Pushing me forward,
Stimulated.
Reaching for the impossible,
The improbable.
Lunging into a void,
Humbled.
Feeling an invisible autumn breeze
Pulling at my coat collar.
Drawing me to rise, to flourish,
To reach out into that stream of time
Finding a place of beauty for my soul,
Finding peace for my spirit,
A colorful garden of love.
Imagine a life without flowers.
Have you ever felt this way?
Hi Judie. I do. There is always an emptiness that no matter how I continue to go on with life, it's sometimes very hard to embrace. I know I have to though. So I stop, pick myself up and continue always with that void, yet eager to get a little past it. We both know why. ::sending you good wishes::
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed....there have been at times in my life when a vague feeling of unrest is present---"what am I doing here?"...the "What's It All About, Alfie", feeling.....but somehow I have always been able to pull myself out of this, and once again, feel connected....I think this feeling of vague ennui is quite common in most peoples lives from time to time, if they are honest with themselves....!
ReplyDeleteYes, I have. It's the feeling of experiencing, without an ending, in traveling but not arriving, in seeking without needing to find. That's where the greatest happiness is for us because we smell the roses everyday, and little things make us happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your great writings. I felt like I was there with you and your friend...I felt the sand and heard the gulls (oops! did you mention gulls?)
July 13, 2011 2:01 PM
Reading your words I felt love deeply present in all of the details. You are on the right track. I believe that if we embrace love during our daily comings and goings, we will find ourselves in a beautiful garden where we can flourish and enjoy peace in our souls.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))